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02 October 2009 @ 10:22 pm
Why do all of my memories upset me?
12 May 2009 @ 03:09 am
hey. it's been awhile. i'm posting this from my phone, so, i doubt it will be very grammatical. oh well. a lot of things have changed in the thrée months since i lasted updated, and yeah. so aaron greenwell is my best friend. go figure....someone who used to be a complete jerk is going to be my roommate. speaking of which, í leave my house this summer for odu and my apartment....which is exciting, but kind of depressing at the same time. im ready to move out, but i know once i do, then that will mark the end of my social life as i know it....or what existed of it at least. heh. work is going okay, im about to get another raise, so i cant complain about that. things with edenrose are okay...not good but eh. we seem to be goiñg in different directions, as i have been with all of the other people i once knew. sometimes i wonder if máking the effort to try to rekindle past friendships and rapports is even worth it. i tried it with one person, but they didnt and dónt seem to care enough. that hurt, but maybe i do need to finally learn to move on. its always funny to think how evéryone is doing, though. i could have been friends with a future president. im tired now...mayybe ill go to bed. maybe ill reminisce some more. cheers.
Current Mood: exanimateexanimate
24 February 2009 @ 12:52 am
My dreams have been weird lately.
13 January 2009 @ 01:04 am
The month off from school and the winter holidays really came and went this year.

I really feel off balance lately. I don't know what it is specifically, but, something just doesn't feel quite right. Like a void almost. Or a lapse. Or the hole in the middle of the donut.

Sophomore slump? Creative slump. Life slump, if ever such a thing. I really, really need to get out more.

But, I really want a MacBook.
11 December 2008 @ 11:44 pm
Boo for getting Bs in Organic and Differential Equations.

Virginia Tech, here I come.
20 October 2008 @ 11:56 pm
The only constant thing in my life has been EdenRose for the past two years. I've always been able to count on her to love me, to make me smile, to be there for me, to cure my loneliness, and to erase any doubt that I would leave her to be with someone else.

And now, that safety blanket is gone. It's gone. The roles have reversed....she's never questioned our relationship until now, and it tears me apart that I can't even count on her to love me anymore. =(. My insides are hurting me so badly right now....I don't know what to do. I'm so completely head over heels for her, and she used to be the same way, but she isn't anymore, and I wish that things were the way they used to be: we never had this problem. Things were so peaceful, and so perfect. Now, I'm on the brink of despair. Please....give her some strength to realize that she's in love with me again. Please. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I can't bare to live without so don't make me! please. Gah, I don't know how I'm going to sleep tonight....or any night from here on out. I want things to be normal....I want things to be right again. I want our relationship to be golden again, like it always was, and so does she. Please. Someone. Anyone. Make her realize. I need her. I really do. really, really, really. I will cease to exist without her.
15 October 2008 @ 10:02 pm
Insomnia is a terrible thing to have.

Paranoia is, too. Oh, don't forget jealousy. Don't forget forgetfulness, too...wow, I don't think that makes sense. Haha.
02 October 2008 @ 01:51 am
You know, lately I've been doing a very nice job of not losing my cool. But, god damn it, life is stressful. There is way too much to worry about. Maybe I just care too much? Who knows...but, not being able to sleep until 3, 4 AM every night is not very ideal.

I think that I'm ready to leave.
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
01 July 2008 @ 08:38 pm

I am SO in deep shit right now. =(.
20 June 2008 @ 12:34 am
I never really knew what it felt like to be faced with an ultimatum.

So what do I do now? My life, or someone else's?